This is the kind of guy who misses the gold rush because he’s scared shitless to jump in the river and start panning for nuggets.  The kind of guy who buys government bonds and mutual funds when dotcoms are turning teenage kids into multi-millionaires overnight.  The kind of guy who just never, ever seems to get it right …

I bet you know the type of sucker I’m talking about. Hell, you might even be him.

Anyways … We’re sipping our Kristal, chatting about our latest female conquests (I just screwed this hot latin bitch!), when the talk drifts to money and business.  My friend – let’s call him ‘Mr X’ so as not to embarass him – mentions his recent flirtation with online sales.  His exact words were: ‘Oh yeah, I dabble in internet marketing too.’

My champaign shot out of my mouth like a fucking fire hoze.

Umm … YOU WHAT?

One dabbles at paper mache, or baking, or knitting … but what kind of wanker dabbles at internet marketing?  I must have heard him wrong. Misunderstanding.

What do you mean by ‘dabble’, Mr X?

‘Oh, you know, I’ve tried a few affiliate marketing methods that I learned on forums and from ebooks, sort of got my feet wet in the business.  Haven’t gone too far with it yet.’

No shit, eh?

Let me tell you something.  I’ve never gotten ‘my feet wet’ with anything.  When I first started making money online, I was bus’ing tables at a local Denny’s.  One day I thought: enough is enough, time to get PAID.  Get my feet wet?  You must be kidding. I ripped off my clothes and launched headfirst into the iciest internet waters I could find, which at the time was Google Adwords.  I lost $2,741 my first month.  My girlfriend thought I was nuts; she dumped me by text message.  I stole checks from my dad’s checkbook when my bank account went dry.  I lost money – I failed – I got a ride in a police car.  But you know what? I never, ever gave up.

Eighteen months later, I scored my first $10,000+ day.  Three months after that, I celebrated my 24th birthday as a young internet millionaire.

There are so many ways to make money online; adwords, adsense, tube sites, porn, paysites, affiliate promotion, spam email, e-whoring, CPA, blogging, content production, herbals, ebooks … whatever.

But the internet ain’t no fucking pez dispenser – you gotta work for your candy. And I’m not here to hold your hand like a little baby and wipe your ass every time you take bad medicine.

But I can tell you this …

Whatever you do in life, whether it’s internet marketing or social work or doctoring or practicing law or volunteering in Africa … put every last ounce of your energy into it – mind and body, heart and soul.  Commit as if your life depends on it, because it does.

Don’t you DARE fucking DABBLE …

Oh no, I thought. This could be bad. REAL BAD.  I might have to move my servers … and that could eat up a whopping ten minutes of my day.  I called for some more ganja.

First Marc Emery, and now me.  The-Times-They-Are-A-Changin.

So Craigslist wants to drag my black ass into an American courtroom for crimes against humanity … or at least, crimes against Craigslist.

What are these gross violations of human rights that led Craig Newmark to want me in the gallows?  According to the lawsuit: Fraud, Personation, Copyrights Infringement, Violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, computer Intrusion, and other combinations of the word ‘computer’ + ‘any crime you can think of’.

Funny thing is, I’ve never even posted an ad on Craigslist. I don’t use the site.  It’s full of spam!

Could it be that Mr. Newmark blames me for all that spam, even though I’ve never posted an ad?

C’mon Craig … I ain’t misbehavin’ … ain’t misbehavin’ …

Newmark is an old white dude.  I’m a young black man.  You know how the story goes.  I make an easy target for all those old white farts in the American courts, the robber-baron CEOs who scam their own companies out of millions and need a scapegoat … and it’s always the black man who takes the fall.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Blame it on the black man. Eddie the African – he’s the bad guy.  He’s the one posting all that spam.  Fuck the courts, eh .. let’s string young Eddie up with a rope and get the job done like they did back in the day …

Here’s the deal, folks. I’m getting serious now.  Eddie Temple Promotions LTD is a UK Company.  We have offices all over the world – Wellington New Zealand, Vancouver Canada, London England.  Big companies get sued all the time; Microsoft, Ebay, AOL, even Craigslist itself.   I’ve explained this to my employees and now I’ll explain it to you: Eddie Temple isn’t going anywhere.

Craig Newmark can huff – and puff – but he will NEVER blow my house down.

[I'm being sued over my work-at-home program CraigsPimp.com, which thousands of people around the world use to make an extra $250-$500/day posting ads on Craigslist.  The lawsuit can be found here: http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/08/craigslist-takes-battle-against-spammers-to-court/?pagemode=print]

Newmark vs. Eddie ... battle of titans!

Good guys finish last. Dead last. Nobody gets rich being nice.  You got that?

This is a KILL OR BE KILLED world.  Got morals? Join a friggin church.  I’m happy on the road to hell if I get to drive there in my new Bugatti.

Here’s the deal … I’m ready to show you the sickest, most BADASS ways to create multiple streams of income totally on autopilot that will PUMP CASH INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT day after day, week after week while you eat, sleep, fuck .. and do anything BUT work!  I can show you how to make money with almost no effort and no upfront investment … even if your only experience with marketing was a lemonade stand when you were five.

Look, this stuff isn’t ethical .. it’s definitely not nice … and some of it is just barely legal.  But it works.  It works fast. And it’ll fill up your bank account with cash quicker than Ron Jeremy fills up a cheap hooker.

Now … I’m going to hold your hand like a fucking baby learning to walk and show you STEP-BY-STEP how to put my money-making ideas into practice.

So how much money am I talking about?  I will personally strip naked and EAT MY SHOE and put the video on youtube if you make less than $2900 your first week.  I’m dead serious!!

Understand this: the only way to make money in this world is to TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE.

Seems obvious now, doesn’t it?  But that’s where rich people get their money. They take it from other people.  In this world, you are either the FUCKER or the FUCKEE.

Which would you like to be?

As the title says, I make a lot more cash than you do. In fact, I make more money in a year than the CEOs of Apple, eBay, and Yahoo! combined …

In fact, I make SO MUCH MONEY that I just bought a new $16,000,000 mega-yacht …

But look, that doesn’t mean I’m any better than YOU.  The only difference between me and you is that I fly in a private jet.

And I get to fuck a lot of hot women (like any girl I want) … and I drive a Bugatti … and, well, you get the picture.

Look folks, I’m not here to brag. Far from it.  I’m here to HELP YOU MAKE MONEY.  That’s my #1 goal. Why? Not because I’m a nice guy.  No … HELL NO!

I like to create millionaires .. it’s kind of my hobby .. because most of the marketers I train end up WORKING WITH ME in the future, and helping me make EVEN MORE MONEY …

So in helping you make a ton of cash, I am doing a purely SELFISH thing …

Doesn’t change the color of your money though, does it?

Stay tuned to this blog … I’m going to spill my guts and tell you absolutely everything I know about making money online.  BANK ON IT!

Eddie Temple

CEO Eddie Temple Promotions LTD, a UK Company